Some Amazon reviews really are great at providing useful information. They really do give you the chance to find out if a product is worth the money or not and they can provide you with a ton of valuable insight as well. Others seem obviously fake. After all, some reviews go on and on about a product and then you read the next review and they are strangely enough saying the exact same thing but in a slightly different way. Then, you get some funny Amazon reviews that are less than serious, but will put a smile on your face. These are those kind.
Bic for Her
This woman really let rip into Bic. Apparently, her husband never allowed her to write and that he didn’t want her touching male pens at all. She then decided to buy these pens as they must be designed specifically for women. The grip size is fantastic for her delicate hands and that she has already written down a ton of new recipe ideas as well! She has also gone on to use her pen for all sorts of things. The problem is that her husband really hates her new-found sense of independence. You go sister!
Swiss Army Knife
This is one of those funny Amazon reviews that you just wish were true. So, a girl had been given a Swiss army knife for her 18th birthday. It’s a pity she didn’t know about their magical powers before she touched it, because she instantly grew a moustache and turned into a full-blown Navy Seal. Her father laughed and handed her a beer, as you would if your daughter instantaneously grew a handlebar moustache. Now she has everything she needs to survive on her own in the wilderness: pocket knife and facial hair.
Where is the Baby’s Belly Button?
This particular reviewer was really disappointed when she found out that the book is little more than a plot to waste your time. Doesn’t the picture on the front of the book really give it away? There’s no twist at all. The belly button is absolutely where it is supposed to be, much to the annoyance of this one reviewer. There’s no plot, there’s no M. Night Shyamalan twist. There’s no character development. What a waste of time and money!
Amazon Kindle Waterproof Pouch
Funny Amazon reviews don’t get more morbid than this! This pouch is designed to keep your Kindle from getting wet, but that isn’t what this guy bought it for. He was actually hoping it would fall out and electrocute his mother-in-law when she got in the bath. Unfortunately for him, his plan didn’t come to fruition and the damned thing has stayed in one piece so far. Poor guy. But let’s face it, you probably couldn’t electrocute someone with four volts anyway.
This thing apparently saved one woman’s marriage. In fact, it’s one of the greatest inventions of our era. Apparently her and her husband would argue over who would slice the bananas for that day and this ended in some serious tension, as you might expect. It got to the point where the children were getting involved, and she even heard one of them re-enacting a fight that her and her husband had over the banana. At that point she knew full well that had to make a change. I just wish I’d heard of this thing before my own marriage broke up for much the same reason…
Creative Arts Glitter
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to see that your roommate is passed out on the floor. The problem is that the very next morning, he woke up to find a homeless guy on the couch. The roommate, who was still very drunk at the time, then came in and explained that he had made friends with him and so he brought him home.
Now you are probably thinking- what does this have to do with glitter? Unfortunately, this guy decided to cover absolutely everything that his roommate owns in glitter. Including his shoes. He covered every crevice of his very existence to try and teach him a lesson. Knowing how difficult it is to get rid of glitter, it’s probably still there to this day.
Star Wars Battlefront
EA’s microtransactions made fans of the Star Wars Battlefront series collectively flip their lids when the game first came out. This guy’s comment says it all.
Haribo Sugar Free Gummy bears
The title of these funny Amazon reviews really say it all. Apparently you shouldn’t buy these unless it’s for someone you detest. Words simply can’t express what happened to this guy after he ate a whole pack of these gummy bears, but let’s give it a go all the same. He starts off by saying that he would rate these a 5 out of 5, because they are so soft and juicy. Great start. Decent review. Let’s move on!
Not so fast. He then went on to experience cramps, sweating and a lot of bloating as well. Naturally, he believed that he had food poisoning and he was incredibly worried about what was going on. He then experienced a enough flatulence to raise the temperature of Earth’s atmosphere at least a couple degrees. It was so bad, he described it as being similar to demons calling back to him from hell itself, not to mention the smell. Even his friend who tried some had the same horrific cramps. What could have caused them? An out-of-date pack? Haunting and possession? Who knows?
These are just a few of our favourite funny Amazon reviews, but Amazon is littered with them. You can find hilarious reviews and questions on almost every Amazon product, so get out there and find some of your own to kill an hour or two next time you have the chance!